Owie-International

The rock in my stomach
Is immobile
A slog of ice turned stone
Jadis come to reside in my gut

They say the blue pill will dissolve it
Mercury off gassing into my abdomen
That scare me too

Before I might drop a hundred
To sit in a stranger’s chair
Who nods while i read her
My monologue
But I am far from such
Familiarity

I weigh how much of
Myself to reveal to neighbors
Who are already judging
The fragile self I have
Planted on foreign soil
Cracking like she always does
Exposed to sugar and sunlight

No one to tell.
The old ones will
Beacon me home
But the microbes from this place
Have embedded themselves
Under my fingernails
I am not the same
A part of me is in the environment
Not to be easily replanted

The new ones
Have no skin in the game
No retroactive reconnaissance
To recall saner days when
They needed me

Is it scarier here, sweetheart,
Knowing winter still arrives
In my belly even when all
My preclusive dreams have
Come true?

I say:
"How dare you be down
In Europe
Where castles clutter up
The landscape
Health care is free
Bakeries abound
UN suit talking solves all the
Western World’s problems-
Even yours

It almost made sense
When you sat immobile
Day dreaming your
Dis-reality
Raising your expectation
But now here you are
Eat another pastry
Climb across the cobblestone
Be a little God-damn grateful
Chin up buttercup

Isn’t this everything you ever wanted?
Tell Jadis to go fuck herself."

I’ll let you know if that works.